Scene 17

Last weekend, I heard my pastor tell the story of Job. God told Satan to behold His servant, Job. When Job lost his family, his wealth, his health and his wife even told him to curse God and die, Job would only praise God, and trust the Lord had a plan. Well, when my pastor said, "Behold My servant," I realized that through the pain, the hard, the trials, the uncertainty, and sometimes even the ugly, I should be only praising my God. Only blessing His name. Only running harder to the finish line. Their will be a cast party for all who perform to God's glory. And I so want to be a part of that party. Lord, I pray this servant is pleasing in Your sight. Help me and all my co-stars get through this scene.

My Purple Life: Missing Josh

   I love those nights when we are all around the table and EVERYONE is laughing so hard they can't breath. One reason i love those nights so much is because all of us are there. I also love  when Josh randomly tells me while unloading the dishwasher, "Perry You're beautiful."but my favorite moments with Josh are when he breaks into song, usually songs that do not make any sense, but are hilarious. The other day, i went through a day where i just really missed him. and on this day, James was singing one of those random songs. I didn't know whether to laugh really hard (because it was hysterical) or go into the bathroom and cry.  i always loved those side hugs from my super tall bro and those moments when Sarah Helen Josh and i go and do something fun, or just han out. Yes we are a family- but we are also friends.It hurts when either of them go away. I just pray this will go by as quickly as Sarah's college years did. And i want my brother to sneak up and poke me. Because that would mean he is here. and i really want him to be. So hurry up and graduate Josh.

Miracle of the Week

  A friend of mine went to soccer camp. But before she left, she asked me if i would be willing to take her babysitting job for the week. Tuesday and Thursday, babysitting for two adorable little girls, for ten hours. I told her i would, because i love kids, and i love her!
  So Tuesday came up, and i was up at 5:30 a.m. feeding horses, and getting ready for the very long day ahead.  Soon upon my arrival, i noticed a weird smell, but i thought that maybe that's just the way the house smells. I wasn't concerned because it had smelled like that when i arrived. But at noon, i could not keep my eyes open. I put the girls down for a nap at one, and then took a nap too. I slept soundly for two hours. Then got the girls up and we played hard again.
  When their grandma got home, she asked if the house smelled funny. That's when i got concerned because, if she thought it smelled weird, then that smell wasn't supposed to be there. I took the girls outside, and we swam, and played hide-and-go-seek and told stories. Their grandma aired out the house, and lit matches, which i found out later, that lighting scented candles when there is a gas leak, is NOT a good thing to do.  The stove was a gas stove. and one of the knobs was turned just enough to let the gas spill into the house.
  Mom told me that if a match is lit during a gas leak, The house would blow up. But this one didn't. it aired out. and everyone was fine, and the house was still standing when their mom came home.
  I should have died on Tuesday. Those precious girls, their grandma, and Meredith who came with me, we all should have died. I was not supposed to survive a situation like that. It is on days like Tuesday, when i just know that Jesus was in that house, his arms around me, and Meredith, and the girls. He wanted me to see another day, and wasn't ready for me to move into Heaven.
  That night, I jsut lay in my bed, thanking God over and over, over and over and over again that he protected us. I would have been okay if he had chosen to take me. But i would feel terrible if he took those sweet little tiny girls, and Meredith. Jesus was with me on Tuesday. he saved my life. And gave me a miracle.

Thank you again Lord Jesus for not only saving me, who totally deserves to be blown sky high, but also for protecting Meredith, and those Little girls, and their Grandma.Thanks for sitting right next to me while we slept, and for protecting us from the flames. You are an awesome God. And i can't praise you enough.

Why i love Mondays.

Every one has their days. For me they are usually Mondays. Those days in which they feel worthless, stressed to the max, ugly, irritable, confused. I have those days a lot. for the days in which i feel worthless, Jesus gives me infinite value. For the days when i am stressed and overwhelmed, Jesus is my peace. When i am not ecstatic about my appearance, when i feel too fat, my hair goes crazy and my face breaks out over night, Jesus is my contentment. When i am nervous, Jesus is my confidence.When i am irritable, He is patient. When i am confused, He is my anchor. i often think on how human i am. How sinful, selfish, unholy i am, and how i should be better. These thoughts of self deprecation are frequent. When i think deeper and deeper on my physical state, Jesus says- "I created you to be you. I don't want you to be anyone else. You are bigger than some, and smaller than others. You are irritable on Mondays, but happy on Sundays. You love long straight dark brown hair, But i gave you wavy  thick hair- and I think you are beautiful." 

  But you know what really blows me away? He cares about me. He holds this world, but he gives me great times, wonderful memories, priceless opportunities, because He loves me. He placed me in the right place, where i have met the people i have met. He gave me my family and my youth group and my friends- my horses, because He knew they were right for me. And there are 8 billion people on this planet. And he does it for them too. And that is just one of the amazing things about my God. He is MY God. He cares for me. 

Psalm 46:5    ?

God is in the midst of her. She will not be shaken. God will help her when the morning dawns.

He even knows i am not a morning person. :)

Life rocks!!!!

When realizing that i had four days to recover from Africa before i left for teen camp, i was not the happiest person on the planet. I knew i wanted to go to camp, but i was tired, confused and had a lot to sort through. But Camp was coming, so, i just dove right in and prepared for camp.
  Fifteen of us from the youth group loaded the van for camp Sunday night, and got our minds and hearts prepped for the week by having a mini youth group during the Sunday evening service. All over Chesapeake and Virginia beach, at 5 am Monday, teens were getting out of bed, showering and driving to Avalon Hills Bible Church. At 7 am, we were West Virginia bound and life rocked.
  the 6 hour drive was not bad, we kept occupied by watching movies, eating gummies and pop tarts and then chatting! I love road trips. I didn't really know what to expect and i wasn't sure how this week was going to go. When we got there, I did not feel good. My Africa sickness was back. A headache greeted my as we pulled into Alpine Bible Camp. I took a benadryl, and my headache left soon after- for which i am most grateful. Bridget and Glory and Myself were dropped off at our cabin. Our counselor was so sweet and welcomed us to Alpine. We met our other cabin mates- Amy, Hannah and Kanitha. Then, camp started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And as the week rolled on, i was changed. My youth group was changed. every one was getting right with God, and being encouraged, challenged, and we were learning great things!!!
  The constant activities, the Bible studies, the chapel sessions, and the fellowship, were so impacting. Our counselors were easy to talk to, easy to be around. The schedule was easy to learn and by Wednesday, we were in a routine. From 2-5pm, we had free time. and during these three hours, the youth group would meet up. These were the hours that i loved best. When we just hung out and had fun with each other, the other teens and the staff would tell us that we had something special, and that the relationship we had was wonderful. I felt so honored to be part of the youth group. and i really felt like i found my place! I knew that i was friends with all the girls, and we would help each other out and be friends forever; I knew that i could just be me around the boys, and that everything was fine. nothing was awkward. I didn't have to be super careful. I could just be me. There were moments at camp were i had to really ponder how to handle a situation. I grew in ways i didn't even realize. I learned to take every thought captive. I learned that i needed to memorize more and more scripture. I learned that with the freedom we have in America, there is no way i can just be a complacent christian. I had to be on fire. and passionate. and i learned that i always need God. and i even need to depend on Him completely even when the sun is shining. And so, Camp Alpine has changed my life. Life rocked at Alpine. But the God who worked in me at camp is the same God who works in me at home. And so, i plan on continuing to grow, and my life will continue to rock. even when it's raining.

So, since I got a blog, I guess, I should probably blog!

This past year has been very interesting. I was in the full swing of my junior year in high school. During that year, I was determined to pass the two hardest classes I had ever had with an A. I did, but they weren't easy. That is how I work. I can do things, and do them well, but I have to put lots of valuable time and effort and sanity into them. I am not a math person. But, unfortunately, you do math everyday of your life, and there is no escaping it. You use English, when you write a post or letter to some one using complete sentences. Science, is helpful, to know how things and animals and people and gravity work. The sad part about all of this is, that you spend your best years, stuck in a book, doing homework and working for grades, which at times for me seems utterly and completely pointless.

 Life is all about relationships. And it stinks like rotten eggs when you can't completely invest in them until you are out of college. But then you get married, move away, and move on. Life goes on. You change, and your friends change, and your surroundings change. Your family changes. The world changes. Some people look at change, as if it were an adventure, an unknown, waiting to be explored. Not me. I hate change. I hate when people leave, and don't come back. I hate when you go from care free and innocent, to needing to know what happens in the world, so you aren't naive and vulnerable. I hate the uncertain. I like being in control of the situation. I love having a list, a plan.  I love living life, and not worrying about growing up, going to college, and doing something new. I love being secure, knowing how things are going to go, having a schedule.
The things I love, only last briefly. Life goes on. There will be change, there will be stability. There will be moments when life is the best it has ever been, and moments where I want to cry till there are no more tears. And so much has happened, that tears just come. and I want to be strong. I want to be tough. I want to grasp the challenges and hurdles, and launch over them with no problem. But I am not tough. I am weak. I am easily stressed and frightened. I am easily discouraged, or doubtful. The times when I am happiest, are the times, when I am where my heart is. With the people I love, with the Home I love, completely secure and unafraid.

All the questions that aren't answered, all the plans that I am not given, all of my future, that I can't see, is scary, and I am not a fan of scary.
 So, God made it less scary. He doesn't change. The most reliable Being, is never going to change. He is not going to move on from me. He isn't going to change His plan for me. He knows, and that is so much better than no one knowing. So.

I am not in control. No, that's not always awesome, but I would botch it up if I were. I am not going to completely move on though, from everything I have ever known, because memories are important to me. People are important to me. But even if I go to college, marry someone and have a new life, a new identity, I will still be me. My friends and I won't lose contact. I won't let that happen. My family and I might be separated for a little while, bet never for long. My home, is and always will be here. And the absolute best thing, is our eternally long summer break from school, from evil, from dilemmas, from separation, and uncertainty. That is why it is called Heaven. because there, all my frustrations and tears will be wiped into oblivion, never to be heard of again.
So Way to go God, for never changing. You are the bomb. <3

Africa

My family has always loved Africa. We will spend a couple of weeks there in the summer, and then will be moving there to do missions in the next two or so years. I personally think Africa is cool, because they have the cutest babies, they have super cool animals, like cheetahs and elephants, their clothing is beautiful, and so is the way they worship. I am in the midst of my high school education, so it is a hard decision to make. Should I go to college or go to Africa? If you think to pray for me, that would be such a blessing. My family wants to be in the very center of God's will, and therefore in His protection. If Africa is what He wants us to spend our lives doing, then we can't wait to purchase our plane tickets and step foot onto that beautiful African soil.

Faith

I believe in Jesus Christ. He is my Savior and friend. I am in the process of reading through the Bible in a year, which is great fun. I attend Avalon Hills Bible Church in Virginia Beach. My youth group is insane, and every teen is special, and has impacted my life. My pastors are amazing. Every single one of them. I know that God is not finished with me yet, and that though i am a stupid human being, Jesus paid his life for mine, making me more valuable then gold.

Family

I am warning you right now, i have a crazy family. My Dad is a doctor, and in the navy. He's pretty swell. Mom is an angel. she really is sent from heaven onto this ridiculous earth. She makes miracles happen hourly. Sarah, is the oldest of us, a graduate from Regent University, and she will change the public schools with  her  beast kid skills and her love for education. Josh is second. H is going to attend a university in Texas. He's crazy smart and is going to be some kind of engineer. I am a Senior in High school, and pursuing  the occupation of  a Veterinary technician. That should be fun. Helen is an author. and she's 14. i know, i have some pretty incredible people in my family. She is also ridiculously funny and always has her nose in a book. She wants to be a pediatric oncologist, which is a cancer doctor for kids. she will be the one to find a cure for cancer. Meredith is 10, and provides much of the comic relief  in our house. James is 6, and is pretty hilarious. He makes the world a better place, and is the only one to call me a nickname i hate. We are all very unique. I say that you never really know us until you sit with us while we try to hang spoons from our noses or take a car trip with us and become members of the numb bum squad.